How Can I Survive From Bullying

22:07 rafi 2 Comments

My way to survive from Bullying

Halo! Tonight I am gonna share about my story as Bullying survivors.

I was bullied when I was in elementary and junior high school, literally.

Formerly, I was being Introvert, which I was not really into talking with others except it's important, or my close friends, or necessary. I'm quite different with my siblings, which has so many friends, and having all of confidence to speak-up their mind. At least till they're growing up. Yups, my sister was so famous because she's so smart and active, and always got rank. What about me? No! I was so quiet and shy as well, which was not "Smart person" or "famous" type, though.

I was bullied because of my voice. They said it heard like a girl, they always call me "Banci" or sissy or fag. Yups, as ex-introvert, I knew, I'm gonna keep it myself, but keep thinking about it. It suffered me a lot, literally, I keep thinking about it when I was alone, but no one seems cared with me, probably because it's typically me, right?

And then, one day, I was so emotional, whenever my best friend "played" with me .... I was biting him till "blood" was coming out of his hand .... Yups, that was my fault I must say, I can't control it, and my own best friend was being the victim. They saw me like I'm crazy, but who were they? Did they even know me on the first place? No, right! So sorry my friend.

And after that, it changed everything. My best friend, the only friend that I knew so well, the only one that I could tell all of my story, was keeping away from me. I was alone, literally alone. No one in my family knew my condition, and this was exacerbated with "Bullying" that I keep getting. They even called me "Cannibal". Was it hurt? Yes, it is. Did I have feeling to running away? Yes, I was. Don't get me wrong, I was thinking for moving into new school, but, Is it going to change anything?

These kind of question keep rolling in my head, I was alone, literally. I only had myself and my thought. 

I realized about this condition, and because of it, it's only me that kept motivating myself to be a better person. For the record, even my own "Guardian Teacher" called me "Stupid". I was telling my mom about that, and she came to school, and even scolded my teacher, they almost fighting, literally. Thanks to my mom, I realized that I am not alone, I still had my family, especially my Mom!

I kept motivating myself to be smarter, and was burnt by Jealous feeling. I was seeing that my sister, as one of top 5 students. keep getting "Gift" from my mom and "Praise" by teacher at the same time. This was "Ideal" things for me. I keep studying and studying, till I got my very first "ranking" when I was in 5th class. And it keep getting better. Those who tend to bully me was asking "Why are you changing, raf?". I just smiled at them and try to be "Low profile". This condition made them "forget" who I was, and I love it! They were "Seeing" me, so did my parents and teachers.

Thanks to this condition as well, I am interested to study more, and I keep it :))

What about when I was on Junior High School? Well, I was being bullied by several of "new" friends, which makes me realized that "Bullying" will always be right there. It's all up to you whether you want to keep thinking and giving reaction to this. I become resistant, and "not giving any shit" with that. And yes, it's effective! They were tired, though.

You are not alone!

For those, who are getting bullied. You must know that you're not alone. I am just a lucky one, who can motivate myself, but some of them end "Tragically". I don't want you to be.

Yes, it's hurt
Yes, it feels like "world" gonna be explode
Yes, it will haunt you for "Giving up" with this condition

But no, you're better than that! You're stronger than that! Especially, whenever you had someone who support you. I am being resistant because of my anger and jealous feeling, but I can be even stronger whenever I had my parents support, and of course, my best friends (Merliana, Tuty, and Eldina!). Literally thanks to them! Don't forget to smile, even with the fake ones, because it would make you feeling better :)


PS to Bullies: Insulting someone weaker ain't make you stronger, Please stop with the bullying, it's literally hurt our feeling. Some can survive, but some donts, before it's getting a victim, please stop, or it's gonna be your fault, forever!