Berani bicara tentang Suicidal thought? Let's give it a try!


“And he suddenly knew that if she killed herself, he would die. Maybe not immediately, maybe not with the same blinding rush of pain, but it would happen. You couldn't live for very long without a heart.” ― Jodi Picoult
Have you ever had any suicidal thought? 

 No one might be interested to tell their something about it. Depression, suicidal, is not something you used to talk in the shiny day, right? Because many person would tell you "to be strong enough" or "get over with it" or "don't be overthinking" or "Don't be baper" and etc. 

 If you, by any chance, someone who ever said that to your friends whom ever believed you to talk his/her problems, then please spare your time and listen. Even if you can't provide any solution, by simply listening to his/her problem will be really meaningful tho :)
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Mungkin banyak orang yang akan berkata "Rafi itu orangnya kuat, tegar, mana mungkin punya pemikiran se-liar itu". Unfortunately, you only see what I want you to see. Ga banyak orang yang tahu dulu gue sempet punya fikiran-fikiran ekstrim dikarenakan sakit hati, panik bukan main karena masalah yang ga pernah dibayangkan akan datang, dan bingung. Suicidal thought yang pertama tuh datang waktu gue masih SD. Iya, masih SD. Gue udah sempet cerita tentang satu waktu gue di-bully sama teman-teman -dan bahkan- Guru (sang manusia yang harusnya digugus dan ditiru) ikut membully gue. Sudahlah cuman punya sedikit teman, malah pake drama bermusuhan. Habislah sudah. Rafi pada titik itu, benar-benar kesepian.
Depression by Leafscience

Pemikiran-pemikiran "Should I end this life? No one love me anymore. They hate me. No one likes me, what's the point of living then?". Ada waktu pernah berfikir begitu. Ingin rasanya menghilang dari dunia, toh ga akan ada yang sayang dan peduli, kan? Alhamdulillah, Tuhan masih sayang sama gue. Fikiran-fikiran tersebut langsung terganti dengan hal positif lainnya. Iya, dulu aku masih punya Mama, dan Ayah, serta abang dan kakak -yang walaupun- selalu diisi dengan berantam layaknya kakak-beradik pada umumnya. Mereka satu diantara alasan yang buat gue mengurungkan niat gue saat itu. Ada juga aku masih punya teman bermain rumahan, walaupun sering dianggap anak bawang.

Satu hal penting, no one knew I have this feeling, coz I am that person, who always keep it myself dan ga mau merepotkan orang lain.

At this turning point moment, I change myself as a whole. Membuktikan apa yang mereka omongkan salah, bahwa aku tidak bodoh, dan aku bisa. 

Hari demi hari, bulan demi bulan, tahun demi tahun. Jarang sekali bully-an diperoleh setelah aku berubah dan membuktikan. Ada sih, jokes-jokes lama kalo gue banci lah, main sama perempuan terus lah, gendut, jelek, item. Surprisingly, udah ga ambil pusing lagi dan cukup hidup sesuai dengan apa yang gue anggap benar. Benar kalau aku ini suka main sama perempuan, mau gimana lagi, dulu ga pernah ngerasa cocok sama lingkungan mereka. Yang merokok lah, nonton bokep di kelas lah, mengindahkan jokes yang merendahkan perempuan lah, seolah-olah perempuan tuh cuman objeks seks doang. That's not my value. Sorry!

SMA juga lumayan lancar, dan terkesan udah mulai pada dewasa. Udah semakin bodoamat juga sama apa yang orang fikir. Emang sih kadang suka cemburu, kok mereka bisa beli baju yang mahalnya na;udzubullah, sepatu mahal, pake acara bawa mobil segala, dsb (ala-ala ABG ga gaul tukang iri :p). Namun ya, tetap pada penderian dan berada di jalan yang benar. Paling tidak, di lingkungan positif. Udah itu aja cukup.

Kuliah? Hmmm. Harusnya mental udah sangat baja dong?! Udah ga pernah lagi ngerasain yang namanya Bully, Alhamdulillah. Semua dibuktikan dengan prestasi. Mental udah baja kah? Tidak disangka, ada 1 momen yang bikin gue ciut banget. Cuman 1 orang yang tahu gimana strugglingnya gue untuk ngatasi masalah ini.

Perlu dicatat, ini masalah sepele banget, berubah jadi hal yang ga sepele hanya karena gue berfikir secara berlebihan dan ga jernih.

Jadi gue waktu itu H- sekian berangkat ke Magelang, untuk mengikuti pelatihan militer dari beasiswa yang gue terima. Gue dipercaya sama donatur untuk menjadi Penanggung jawab (PJ) univ, alhasil pegang tiket keberangkatan. Ada 1 waktu, gue habis makan bareng sama temen gue. Di tempat makan, cerita-cerita, terus yaudah gitu pulang. ASTAGHFIRULLAH, Tas gue tinggal dong. Untunglah laptop ditinggal di Lab ..... Yang menjadi masalah adalah, gue megang 60an tiket beasiswa cabang bandung kalo gasalah :( Gue panik, se-panik-paniknya. Gue cuman cerita sama 1 sahabat gue, gimana cara ngatasinnya. 

Ada solusi cepat yang gue bisa fikirkan, gue ingin menyakiti diri sendiri, entah itu tabrakan, terus yaudah gitu gue ga sadar, dan ..... berfikir "mungkin masalah akan selesai." 

 Gila aja, ini benar-benar momen gue berfikir se-cetek itu! Gue cerita ke sahabat gue, dan dia meminta gue untuk tenang. Semua masalah pasti ada solusinya.

Gue tarik nafas dalam-dalam, mencoba tenang, sambil terus mencari di seputaran tempat makan tadi. Dan ..... ga ada yang nemu. Bapak/ Ibu pemilik warung juga ngerasa ga ada yang tinggal. Yasudah, nasi sudah menjadi bubur. Mungkin sudah ada yang mengambil. Waktunya untuk diikhlasin.

Tiket ini bagaimana? Gue tenangin, berfikir jernih, cari cara di google, nemu. Dan mau ga mau, karena sifatnya komunal, aku harus cerita dengan pihak yayasan! Alhamdulillah, karena dibelinya atas nama yayasan/ organisasi sosial, kita ga perlu ngumpulin KTP satu-satu. Great!

 Tau ga sih, hal-hal yang gue takutin seperti apa? Sampe-sampe berfikiran cetek kayak begitu .....
1. Anak-anak ga akan bisa berangkat, padahal ini momen paling penting bagi sebagian besar orang
2. Beasiswa gue dicabut
3. Yayasan akan marah besar ke gue 
 Ternyata, ngga ada 1 hal pun yang terjadi. Yayasan sangat meng-apresiasi gue yang bertindak cepat dan ngomong langsung ke mereka. Dengan senang hati gue menawarkan diri untuk tetep bertanggung jawab penuh atas tiket ini. Dari segi pencetakan di stasiun terdekat, semua akan gue lakukan koordinasinya. Dan jelas, beasiswa gue ga dicabut, ngga ada yang marah, dan kita semua bisa berangkat bareng-bareng buat ngerasain 10 hari momen dilatihnya kepemimpinan kami.

 Shit happens. This is life. And anything worse you would think gonna happen, usually end-up only in your thought, not in the reality. Face and overcome it. Semua ada solusinya. Coba cerita dengan orang-orang terdekat buat dapat insight yang mungkin bisa lo pake buat ngatasin masalah-masalah tadi. 

 Sip.

 Aku punya beberapa kenalan yang punya suicidal thought. Ada yang muncul karena masalah cinta, ada yang muncul karena masalah akademis, ada juga yang muncul karena tekanan secara tiba-tiba, dan ketidaksiapan sang korban. It's not you aren't strong enough, tapi memang keadaan sedang menguji dan menempahmu menjadi orang yang lebih bijaksana. Yang pasti, God won't test you more than what you could take for. Seberat apapun itu, pasti lo bisa lewatin. Cari orang terpercaya, jika memang masalahmu dirasa perlu bantuan orang lain. Just in case you don't have or they aren't available yet. Feel free to contact me via Instagram/ any social media ya! Gue akan coba spare waktu untuk kalian!
"Suicide won't solve anything, it only passed these problems to those who loves and cares you, with heavier burden" - Anonymous

 Thanks and Cheers!
Communicate by ef.com
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Why I hate racism



You don't fight racism with racism, the best way to fight them is with solidarity - Anonymous

Source: Qz.com

There are thousands or even millions of ethnics in this world, 700 of them came from Indonesia and produced more than thousand dialects across Indonesia. The idea of diversity actually is on human nature itself. If you slice and see the detail for each human you met. There might be different stories you can get, and that what makes us unique in every single way. Human is unique, even if you see the identical twins, there would be at least 1 from them that can be used to identify the babies itself, physically. 

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rac·ism
ˈrāˌsizəm/
prejudice, discrimination, or antagonism directed against someone of a different race based on the belief that one's own race is superior.

It happened all the time tho. Sometimes, we didn't realize that we do it anyway. It usually happened when you generalize entire population of an ethnic into simple condition(s), and usually you describe them as not-so-good/ bad behaviors because you think your own isn't like that.

Now, let's try thinking it deeper and see whether you've done it before or not. In my case, sometimes in my own circle and even in my family, I found some racism activities, such as:
1) Describe Chinese as communism, sly, cheater/ liar, evil, and many form of badness. 
2) Describe Sundanese girls/ women as  opportunist, taking for granted, only search "rich men", always use money to buy make-up and looks good & stuff  
3) Describe Karonese men are lazy, always harsh and looking down to women, and didn't want to work hard and etc.  
4) Describe Bataknese are hardworker, clever, can communicate really well etc (Coz we came from Bataknese)

And the list can go on! 
  


Have you ever had this kind of discussion? I bet you have. Believe it or not, what you did might refer to racism leh.

Behavior, hardskills, softskills, emotional is something really personal. Just FYI, everyone can be a jerk at the moment and really nice after that. At the same time, you might see someone who seems really nice every time, and will lost himself by being evil, apathetic, liar, opportunist at the moment as well. Definitely, it has no race and gender, right!

To argue those comments I might hear and discuss, I used to tell my interlocutors that I knew lots of Chinese who's really trustworthy, have full of faith to their god, really kind to those she's not even knew, and having so many goodness within her (1). I also know lots of Sundanese who's really kind, istiqomah, never look social status of everybody he/she met, not being opportunist, and of course, strong & independent women & not so-depend with .... Men! Hoho (2). Karonese? Hmmmm, I know one person who's really hardworker, being so independent, and guess what even though he hasn't graduated yet, he already supports himself and his family by being entrepreneur. Yet, apparently he honors everyone and never look down to woman (3). Last but not least, I know lots of Bataknese who's being hardworking, clever, and can communicate their mind really well. Fortunately I found it on most person in various ethnic as well. So yeah, they definitely knows no gender and race but effort instead (4)!

This kind of behaviors & achievement is really personal tbh. It depends on the world a person live in. If he/she used to live with their comfort zone, where they only have small dreams and small ambition. As long as they live in peace, have wife & children and continue their live the way it is .... Will support their family by having small store or something. Then it's the way it is, you'll live as it is and won't expect something bigger will come. If you live like this, believe it or not, you will have similar thought about your life (somehow it affects your thought because the surrounding you live in). I know there's no something wrong with it (as long as you didn't do criminal things and take someone's rights), coz it's what mediocre used to do. But you're definitely able to change and be bigger. I remember there's one meet-up / seminar from ITB Alumni. There's this one guy, just graduated about 5 years a go, have really nice job abroad, but then left his company because he wants to do something for the country. Got a Job, learn from it, leave it, and start his own company. And you know what, this man came from the similar environment I just described, and at the moment he thought about it and change! From someone who's never got any achievement, to be the best student on ITB, and start his own company which have been growing better day by day.


Put yourself in Someone's shoes


As someone who's been discriminated, I felt hurt. Not being Baper or something, but I'll feel less human because equal rights cannot be achieved that day. SO DOES RACISM. Those who's been judged, prejudiced, and discriminated would get the negative energy from it. As described on Blink by Malcom Gladwell, when African-American given some test to join best university, they split them into 2 groups, the first one was asked by their Race, while the other one were not asked at all. The result is completely different. The first one had less score than the other one because they felt entitled at first, that they're different. They cannot perform better because racial prejudiced they received. They thought the "Race" would be part of the judgement, and that's why they won't get accepted at all. So yeah, it can destroy someone's life and heart. So, always put yourself in that position whether you want to be treated like that or not.

Should be noted


For those who's been racism victim, remember one thing. Don't let other's judgement affect the way you think. Prove them wrong. Apart from your race, you can be those outstanding/ outliers human, as long as you can give the best effort for it. Remember being outliers can take many form, aside from when you're born (coz in this distraction era, it's not very clear what's the best birth year because our world's technology move really fast every seconds!). However, I believe, you can be a better person if you put the best of yourself in it, and take the opportunities that's given to you!

Thanks and Br,
Rafi
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Should we regret over the past?


Yesterday is history, tomorrow is mystery, today is a gift, that's why we called it present - Anonymous

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Have you ever felt this regretful feeling over the past? Why didn't I active in Highschool, why didn't I take this course, why didn't I take this organization, why didn't I try this and that. The list will never be done, coz there are thousands of moment that should and could be better, right? 

Should we think about this? Yes and no. Yes, we need to learn from the past. This is the best moment to learn and practice, and shape the tomorrow better. We can't know whether our marketing program would be succeed and failed. But instead of giving it all-in and might hurt the business, we can run a small project over 1 period (can be 1 month, 3 month, 6 month and so), and evaluate it overtime. We need to test the water, and let the market feel it. If the respond good, then there's higher chance this program can be BIG enough to acquire and win the market. However if the result below expected. Then it is what it is, cost might not be acquired, but we have one thing in common. A lesson learned. In the future, we might not need this kind of program, or maybe, there can be improvement, either it's from the process, prices, and even the form of the products. Test. Learn. Repeat. And this lesson learned should be in the past, right?

That's in the business perspective. 


Tbh, this fundamental of concept can be used in all kind of sector, including our personal life. Even for me, I really have so much thing I regret a lot. I regret why I didn't literate myself from childhood. Why didn't I read Bobo or Harry potter or anything that can be used to improve my sense of reading, which will increase my learning sense. So what? Rice has been cooked to be porridge. Instead of thinking how can I change it to be rice, why don't I think about make it sweeter/ hotter/ delicious, by giving it more side dish with ketchup, spice, salt, and even appetizer. This porridge, might be the best thing you eat, at least you make it yourself.

I also regret about my term during student in ITB. Why didn't I join MUN, why didn't I join English/ Debating Club, etc. The thing is .... if I join this club, I might not be able join in my dorm, and in the end, I've learned so much things right there, from leadership, time management, even the business itself. You might not know/ realize the path you've chosen, until you make a list. Try it, and face it. You've done your best, there might be 1 to 2 things can be better, then do it better in the future. Always learn from the past. Stay curious. And don't ever think you've enough with learning shit. Coz you don't! Everyday, you might and should learn something, either it's technical/ hardskill OR softskill instead. Both can support your future, and make something "mystery" more clear.

Last but not least, if you take regretful too far, believe me you will be stressed and even depressed. Where as, you still have thousands day to go, months to go, and years to go. This depression will take your energy, and in the end you will achieve less than before. You may regret, but then learn, and move on! Do not take it too far, be grateful for who you are, change your habits, and live better! Commit. Commit. and Commit. You only need 1 motivation, make it tenth goals, and commit to achieve one by one. 

"Allah will not change the (good) condition of  a people, as long as they do not change their (state of goodness) themselves (by committing sins and disobedient to Allah"

It's pretty clear, here. If you want to change your current condition, you need to commit yourself, that you want to change to be a better and person, and pursue it earnestly.


And that will be the end of it.

Thank you!
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The Power of Broader Perspectives


"Just don't search for passion, create it instead!" - Anonymous

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Have you ever listed everything you have done through your life? Let say, if you're a student, most likely, you will study, active in organization, join the competition, and etc. If you're a worker like me, most likely you will work from 9 to 6, some will do extramiles, and go home at 7 or 8, some might commute from 8-9 AM, and did the same when you're going home. Some, will read books during the commute, some will play game, some will read an articles on Medium, some might just swipe-up their social media and stuff. If you are an entrepreneur, most likely you will do anything from the execution, operational, customer service, and monitor all of the touch-point and business process that happened in your businesses.

The list can go on .....

Mine might be similar with the worker one, with additional activities that should be long-time habit for my life. This article was inspired by one of my friend in College, Judith. She's currently being a Journalist, despite her background as scientist/ meteorologist/ analyst which is fine. She was slicing one moment "Why" she keep doing her work, and believe that her work -somehow- could help not only herself, but also the others. Which I found completely cool, and already have such a great impact for those who read her articles (at least, me).

As a journalist, I really admire her because she's that person who could manage "move" all the time. Like somehow at 1 PM, she will be on A, and at 2 PM on B, C, and even D. Yeah, this perspective about her has been shaped during my term on ITB, which she's one of "Kader Emas" or "Gold Candidate" in many perspective. She was a leader on Religious Organization, being Senator on the Student Association, and being Minister on Student Executive Board. This is the same person when you're walking with her, there MUST be someone who greet her, whether it's her colleagues or juniors from many organization. So yeah, you won't ask "Why Journalist?" if you already know her well.

In her post, she gave one study case why she's working really hard in here. Starting from having a conversation a breeder and he/she told her that there's a change in Minister Regulation/ Policy about Local breeders involvement in producing Milk won't be mandatory anymore. She start studying this case by herself (thanks to Student Congress), and publish it on her newspaper. Next, she continued the study, and involve more resource from the breeder and related officials about this regulation. She keeps studying about it comprehensively, she found out that it's not only about the Milk Industry, but another thing relate with farmers and breeders. Surprisingly, the regulation will facilitate importers easily. Her Economic Head Desk directly want her to ask the officials, and ...... apparently there's no officials answered her questions. 

Instead of waiting from Executor, she asked the legislator directly. Hamdallah it's answered and the legislator will call the regulator to discuss about it.

Next 2 days, she got a news from the related staff that the deputy commissioner (she interviewed) gave APPRECIATION to the regulators (Like, WTF?!). Of course this kind of drama would happen, and she will do her best to -not only monitor- but also inform the masses about what happened with this country. And YES, this is only small slices of why she keeps doing it. And I really appreciate it.

Perspective (http://www.authenticgrowth.com)

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What's the point of this, Raf?
For me, I learned a lot from this story tho. It reminds me about my personal goals, by being "Useful" to the humanity. I used to expand and see the perspective much wider. After 3 months being Professionals, I learned that -actually- what I was doing is not only for me. It's not only about developing me personally and professionally. But IF you want to, you can see it broadly, that what you've been doing is something good.

Let's take an example where I was being Data/ Business Analyst on Elevenia. If I limit my perspective as "Me, being worker, that should be developed personally and professionally", then I only support me in that position. I would do this job only because I need money or something, and will only think about my personal development, right? Why bother thinking about the others where I could maximize my potential for me (?). This perspective might lead you to meet your "personal-human-centric" goals (which is fine), but won't help you develop further and bring the values to the company & society.

Now, let's switch the perspective from here. Every morning, I was pep-talking with myself in front of the mirror. I told myself what values I can bring by being this Customer Analyst. Since when I was on Elevenia, I was responsible to give Seller Analytics, I listed down things values I could bring and why it's important. I put myself, If I am giving the best effort, then I could help thousand of small-medium sellers selling their product here, could help improve their "confidence" in selling things online, and could help thousands of buyers as well to buy things online securely and confidently. If this happened, of course the company itself would get the benefit at the fullest, and me, of course can be developed personally and professionally since I am being the best of me everyday to achieve this goal.

Make sense, right? It's kind of throwing one stones and kill 2 birds at the same time. You may achieve the broader and bigger goal without forgetting your personal goals. You can give more valuable things to the community and your company -which will be beneficial for your future career growth-, but can be developed personally and professionally as well. Let's take a look in Judith's case, if only she didn't have this broad perspective (& might goals), she might not be like this, to give 100% of her time in this job to support all of the people, fairly. What else can she take? Helping the helpless community? Monitor the regulators? Indirectly support the economic growth locally? And of course, develop herself personally and professionally?

Count me In, dith!

Achievement (https://steamcommunity.com)

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Bring it All, Together


This concept, as far as I know, can be used in every condition and every activities you did. Even IF you are a student, professionals, entrepreneur, anything. 

If you are a student, you can try to re-define the whys & what kind of impacts you can give to the societies. Let's take an example, If I am Meteorology student (which I was), instead of focusing thyself to get perfect GPA, I may re-think and focus with value I could bring as Meteorologist. I will set my target to "Be able to provide inclusive, effective, and accurate weather forecast in Indonesia".

Now let's thinking, if I have this ambitious goal, what can be happened? Of course, I will give my best to learn Meteorology, especially Weather Forecast Modelling, Data Analytics, and Meteorology Dynamic as well Physics to understand the Meteorology as a whole. I will take "Information System" subject seriously, and might develop the related project with my current ambition. IF YOU, being like this. I believe, your perfect GPA would be a piece of cake, because you've already done your best to achieve this noble goals.

So, what do you think? Dare to dream big and broading your perspective? Believe me, it's damn worthy!
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What makes you stay motivate?


"Be ambitious. Get shit done. Keep your priorities straight, your mind right, and head up!" - Anonymous


There are tons of motivational quotes that can be used to motivate yourself and get things done immediately. But .... Do we really need this motivational things to make us keep motivated?

In my experience, yes and no.

Yes ..... to remind you that you're still have a long way to go, i.e. finishing your bachelor degree and stuff. Sometime, motivational quotes/ the inspiration you get would be only a wake up call that you haven't done enough shit in your life. Things stop right over there.



How about the execution?

It's definitely depends on your commitment!

Me, myself, and I tbh have some cases that I have motivation enough, but no execution to do so. Example? Diet! I was controlling my diet like 1 month ago, during Ramadhan Fasting. Surprisingly, my weight reduce 3-4 kg back then ..... I do have lots of motivational things that keep pushing me doing so ..... yeah, having a good body and of course being healthier is one thing. I have achieved my goals, surprisingly have motivational and rational reason. But I didn't do it seriously. Because ..... Simple. I don't commit enough.

Conversely, I do have one thing in common for the motivational stuff. But I commit it till now. What's that? Reading a book for a month. That's my target. I was inspired by some persons, who's busy as fuck but always give it a chance for reading a book. From the wealthiest person like Warren Buffet and even Bill Gates. Or someone who's indirectly impact the way I am now, mas Iman Usman, as well as another public figure like mba Afutami. They have been reading so much books in their life. And they have this kind of unique mindset, especially in solving problem and stuff.

These are the persons who made me regret my childhood, for being only a nerd, but not reading books enough, even till my students term.

Back then, I only able name several books I read, mostly only for academic purpose, and ...... reading it like part by part, for only answering several questions regarding Meteorology and stuff.

These persons, already motivated me enough to moving forward, and encourage me to give it a try for reading a book.


It Happened


I remember, on December, where I just promoted as Customer Analyst on Elevenia. My salary's still around more than enough to save, and I took another step for buying books. 

At the time, I was looking forward where I can find any imported books. Because I have a very bad experiences by buying some translated books. I was kind of reading a google-translated books, that I literally don't enjoy it ! That was a love/ romantic novel, and I was like "Dude, I didn't feel it at all"

Haha.

This is why, if I'm looking any imported book, I would check the english one, even though it's going to expensive as fuck.

One thing should be noted, I hate e-book because it feels like blinding my eyes. I am easily got tired with it ..... And ..... of course, reading a book directly always give you a better feeling than reading an e-book.

So yeah, count me in to buy it, and let's start this one!

In the middle of the month, I went to the bookstore, and just look any books that's going to interest me. Mostly would be about  self-help like things about building good Habits, or it'll be about business and stuff. 

At the moment, I decided to take 3 books that's quite interesting, and getting any recommendation from my friends. I bought it. And there's no turning back. I was spending about 700K IDR or around 60$ back then (In Indonesia, honestly it could support you like  20 days straight!)

Sip. 

Books has been bought, motivation has been written. Now? Execution!

I commit myself to read 1 book a month. For meeting the objective. I should understand how many pages in this certain books. In example, in Outliers book, it's around 270 pages. So basically, if I need to meet this goals, I should at least read 10 pages a day. 

I do it.

Even when I didn't have any time, I would read it the next day, but with cumulative daily goals. For example, if I miss 1 day to read a book, then I would do 20 pages the next day. But ..... of course, I will set aside any thought for reading like 70 pages on the weekend ..... Because, actually reading a book 10 pages a day, would have different outcome with reading it like 70 pages a day. Because ..... your brain needs a fucking rest. that simple. that amount of information you may take, should be limited to certain numbers. Or afterwards, you won't have concentration enough even after reading all of this. 

This is, by definition, similar with learning one subject in one night. You may learn something, but it's not going to be perfect. And of course, your brain might forget something, that even though you've already learnt so hard about that.

So yeah. in conclusion. You need to calculate anything! Motivation & inspiration might help, but in the end it's your commitment that's going to support you to achieve your goals. It's your grit and perseverance that will keep you in a straight way ahead, for keep doing what might give you a pain, but the worthy one. Because in the end, after completing your mission, there would be a time, where you'll remember pain you have received, time you have given, how much sacrifice you have granted, and ..... how worthy it is because you have locked-out some achievement, that might impact your career and the way of thinking.

That, of course, would bring you smile, and happiness! Embrace it!
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Self Acceptance & Overcome It!


"Accept yourself unconditonally. You don't need other people to approve you, accept and love yourself just the way it is" - Unknown

Source: Personal Growth Ideas

As a human, we are imperfect. It might be came from our body, or come from our brains, or even come from our environment. I was lucky enough to be born from middle-upper class family, that's already honored by others due to my father's successful business story -at least- on my hometown. Many believe I am lucky enough to be born on the "perfect" family, that's not so having any financial issues at all.

There might be right and wrong. But I must admit, what they were seeing definitely things in the surface. They didn't know that my mother was sick for very long time, cancer, until God's taking her to His lap. They didn't know that my father raised us by himself, have tried to have "second marriage" but only last in a week since his second wife had same sickness called cancer. And he didn't want to take a chance to have the same feeling that he was broken apart after losing my mom.

They didn't know that my father had 2 children that's really hard to maintain & manage, and somehow had no interest to continue live and didn't know what they want to be.

The list keep going on, and would never finish till I stop typing by myself, right? That's what happened when you focus on your weaknesses.

Self awareness definitely a thing that you should have. You should know what your strength and your weaknesses. You should know what your passion, goals, and what do you want to be, at least in the short term, yet you need to manage it on the long term. However ...... What's next? Let say you have broken down the list of your weakness. That you're not smart enough, that you're not discipline enough, that you're not independent enough. This is where the next stage should come. Acceptance.

You need to accept your current conditions. I always do this stuff till now. "Acceptance and Overcome". That's what I called as the next stage of self-awareness.

"Based on IQ and Aptitude test on ITB. I found that my IQ was 120 -which is above average- but based on the behaviorial test, they told me I am not independent enough. I am not brave enough to speak up my mind. I am overthinking that whenever I asked the lecturer about something, my friends going to judge me as "nerd" or something. Or someone that's only taking lecturer's attention"

This was by far, what I lacked. I am overthinking, and not confident enough. I am now aware with that.

So?

 "So?" is always be the follow up question from me. After being aware with something, I used to ask myself what's next. What kind of things I can do about it, to overcome my weaknesses. I am breaking down the possibilities, prioritize, and just do it already.

Let's take an example from my "not-so confident & independent stuff". I broke down, to overcome my confident and be more independent, I need to be accepted on my former dormitory, called Asrama Bumi Ganesha. Why? In here, I would learn about leadership & of course time management. We were given so many tasks such as doing socialization to the seniors -this is where the confident came from-, and we should create a big event with at least Bandung city in scale. Leadership, at some case, definitely would help me to be more independent in life, coz if you want to lead people, you need to be able lead yourself first. This is the most logical ways I thought.

"It seems impossible until it's done" - Nelson Mandella

I did it. I push myself to the limit, to manage all of the task, without forgetting my academic task as well, and maintain to be accapted as a member.  It's pretty exhausting of course. On 1-3 months, we had target to socialize with all of the dormitory's member, at the same time, we had so many academic tasks to do, as well as mid-term and final examination for each semester.

Source: Paradox of Self Acceptance

Another example of course, when I was aware that my public speaking is so suck. Just like the mediocry persons would be, I would have stage fever whenever I should speak my mind in front of the others. I would be shaken,  my voice going to sound tremble, and I would be heard "mumbling" because I can't say the word clearly. I do have a lot of thing to say, but it's just couldn't be taken out from my mouth.

"Ok Rafi, glad you have been aware. So?"

Reharse! Rehearse and Rehearse! This is the only solution for public speaking. It's definitely like piloting the plane. At first, you might be nervous as fuck. But let them be. Just do it already, feel the sensation. And rehearse!

At first, I was literally mumbling, shaken, and somehow "black out". But at the second time, the voice seems to be clearer, even though I was still shaken, but it's definitely lesser from the first one. I keep rehearse and rehearse. It takes at least 2 hours to make it easier, and Alhamdulillah I could manage the presentation.

Yes, that's the presentation for "Outstanding students" competition. At least my dean -somehow- believed and saw me take it more seriously. And Alhamdulillah, the first time our major could represent the Faculty of Earth Science and Technology.

This was - of course - the first big stage I have, where I should present in front of ITB student back then. I realized I haven't been good enough. I swear to you, my rivals definitely so freaking good, that they can speak english so fluently, and it feels that "ITB" stage obviously not so big for them already. Haha.


When you aware, accept, and overcome. In the process, you'll be more aware about something much bigger. You will not be satisfied enough with your progress, that what you're doing is learning and learning. You desperately want to be a better person from time to time, and somehow there's no "enough" word in your mind. And ..... you're enjoy with the learning process you have.

If you have a rough and really bad past. Just accept it. Forgive yourself and move on. Don't let past justified you in the present and in the future.

If you have something in your mind, just express it ! Don't let your assumption define the present, push your back, and discouraged you to convey your feeling and ideas.

If you have any doubt to yourself i.e. you're not clever enough, that you're dishonest, that you have bad habbit and stuff. Always asked your closest one, and seek any confirmation whether it's true or not. Tbh, mostly you can answer it by yourself, and if you're aware this is true, you need to trust yourself that you're not going to be like that anymore. It's within in your past, and let them be, and keep changing to be an ideal person for yourself, and always value yourself more. 

Conclusion


Self awareness is always be the first step. Next, you need to accept that you're just the way you are. If someone said that you're stupid, don't stop with being aware with it. You need to accept it, and overcome it. Don't ever let their judgement to be true. You always have chances to prove it wrong by thinking and doing how to overcome this from you. You need to know that you're definitely bigger from any judgment or justification they or you made for yourself. You are smarter enough. You are beautiful enough. You are stronger enough. And the list keep going on !
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Being Learner is My Way of Ninja!


Traveler (Source: savageuniversal.com)

Trivia


Have you ever had any thought, that you're so done with learning stuff, that you already pursue this formal education for 16 years or so, and didn't want to learn anything coz you're thinking you're wasting your time? Same! I have.

I was thinking, after graduated, I'll take a well-paid job, and just continue my life as it is, coz I didn't want to have this 'stressing' life, with tight deadline, and have potential to fail and stuff.

Reality


Fortunately, this won't give me any strong motivation, and just die in coz I told myself to realize learning is never only about my education. Of course I was learning about Meteorology, Statistic, Hydro-met, climate change, and stuff, but things I learn were never end-up with these stuff. At least that's what motivate me to be Generalist, to explore not-only the hardskill but also softskills, something that I believe would help me go through this world easier.

Being a constantly learner is my way of ninja (a.k.a Life). The main strategy you should have to be a learner is simply, change your mindset! You need to have a mindset, that you can learn anything, anytume, and anywhere. It doesn't matter how high your IQ is, or how long you will need to learn it. Changing your mindset that everything can be learned is a must for being a learner. Be consistent and persistent, or in a muslim way you may say "Istiqamah".

Persistence (Source: newmediaeurope.com)

"So, tell me what you have learned so far, raf!"

Oke, the positive ways of having this mindset actually helped my life so far. Even helped my brother as well. Tbh, besides learning about Meteorology, I have learned many softskills such as leadership, time management, building habits, and stuff. I also learned Marketing, Finance, Human Resource, Business Strategy, and lately, I was learning about Micro and Macroeconomy to help my brother study. With this mindset, I manage to motivate -at least- myself, that by learning Macroeconomy, It'll help my career now and then.

Apparently, it is.

By the time I am curious about what "Economic" student actually learned, and how could this impact to the society as a whole, I got the big picture how could government providing the policy to maintain the foreigner currency rate, to help and attract importer and exporter as well. I got the idea why our government keep importing something, or when should we export our products to another country and stuff.

I also got the idea how interest rate can affect the loan demand/ supply curve, by thinking about the logic and possibilities how it could impact a country directly.

Since I am currently working on Financial Industries, I just got the idea tho! At least it might be used in the future when should we, as company, should decrease the Interest rate to increase the demand while the supply is on a tight competitive market. At least, besides constantly improving the product as well as the process and the customer experience, this interest rate as a part of "Pricing Strategy" can be used to attract more customers in the future, right?

This is something you might feel when you learn something new every day!

Knowledge is really delicious stuff to eat and fulfill your body and mind, and consistently can improve and develop you as a human!

Curious (Source: http://www.curiouswriter.com)

Do not ever stop being Curious! Curiousity might kill a cat as well as eating to much sugar/ calories. Anything might kill you but as long as you do it in the right way, it'll save yours! Curiousity can make you stay motivate so that you can "try" and "find-out" something every day. Before judging yourself/ others as "Corporate slave" and stuff, why don't you think another way, that you do it for yourself, to fill you and your curiousity, and improve/ develop you as a human!

Being generalist doesn't mean you didn't hone something in particular, and can't do better with the others. Big NO! Make sure, anything that you have learned can support you, not only in your career but also when taking some big decision to your life! Don't think inside the box but outside the box instead, always try connecting the dots and you'll learn something even faster. At least it would help you how to remember something, and of course would help with understanding something deeply. Because actually, you already learn something "similar" before, and it doesn't make it so different conceptually.

I have one example for method above. Whenever during the college, I need to study exam for Physical Meteorology. I was curious enough to understand more about "Thermodynamic system on Cloud" which is about adiabatic heating. Since it's pretty much a complex system for cloud, I tried to understand in easier way. The process itself happened on Cloud formation especially in forming cumulonimbus clouds. What I understand, adiabatic process that happened in cloud, would make the pressure much lower compare to its surrounding. Fortunately because the differences of this pressure, some process happened to "normalize" the event. Wind will be blown from High to Low, and make the adiabatic even worse and support the development of Cumulonimbus itself. Cumulonimbus will make some storm, and of course can affect the human/ environment directly. I realize, the concept of Adiabatic process is pretty much similar with the capitalism system. While heating the system, the surrounding will pretty much take action "to clear" something up, but end-up worsening the system, and make something messier. We might see the Clouds (can be seen as a Country) developing well and significantly, but no, there's a time when a storm coming, and the cloud would be small again, and ...... the process repeated again.

Lol, it's much simpler to explain things in here. But somehow I manage to connecting the dots with something, so that I can learn it faster.

And you know what, I ever discussed about this to my group, some can't take what I mean because perhaps they haven't understand with another concept that I was trying to explain tho.

Connect (Source: scillagrace.com)

Lesson learned: The more you learn, the faster you will learn something new, as long as you can connecting the dots for this! In this world, you may find the "Concept" pretty much similar and with different case. And this is why, despite being Meteorologist, I choose to be Business Analyst & would love to continue my career as Data Scientist as well. Because I believe, from what I learned, conceptually so much analysis similar with what I learned here, and by connecting the same pattern, I could solve the business problem and find-out answer for business question even faster. yuhuu, not so different Wkwk

Conclusion


As a part of your journey, learning is a must process to develop thyself further and beyond! By changing your mindset and consistently fill yourself with curiousity, can really help you to learn something more and more. Take this as a part of motivation, so that you can remember how important it is for getting something learn in every condition. No matter it's when you success or fail, there always be some lesson learned to grow yourself as a human. 

The more you learn, the more you earn

I got this quote from mas Iman Usman, as CPO of Ruangguru, that's consider himself as Generalist - which is cool-. Some tips for you besides changing your mindset, you may need to connecting the dots anything you've learned before, to learn something new faster. If you have already used to with it, I believe your brain could take from your database memory even faster! Which will make you learn faster and remember about it longer (even perhaps long last!). Similar with adiabatic process isn't it? Fortunately, what makes it different, your knowledge won't be decreased but the process can be repeated more and more without make your past knowledge lesser/ lost!

Definitely this process is better than the capitalism, right?! My mind-blown away while writing this, tho! Somehow God have created us perfectly, and design us to be a learner forever (even till we grow old !). If only I knew this since Elementary, I'll be okey to join and contribute with this community! Hoho

#CountMeIn!
Break Free (Source: animated-photography.com)
Thank You!

-- Before you go  


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FYI,
Rafi is an ENFP person who seek every chance to develop his surrounding in professional ways. Slowly turning himself as a geek reader, spending his time at least 2 hour a day to read any article/ books with specific target.

Currently being Senior CRM Analyst in Home Credit Indonesia, still counted as Fresh Graduate and still learning to be the best one. Interested in Leadership, Management, Economic, Big Data, Data Science, and Meteorology-geek stuff.
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